


New Year's Radio Show

by AarinsRitsuka, Dannye Chase (HolyCatsAndRabbits), HolyCatsAndRabbits



Series: Alba [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley is (still) Raphael, Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), Fic/Art Collab, Humor, Illustrated Fic, New Year's Eve, Other, a little pro-worker activism, demonic distractions, radio show, reverse au, so what were you doing at midnight?, sooo many parrots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:07:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28156542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AarinsRitsuka/pseuds/AarinsRitsuka, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyCatsAndRabbits/pseuds/Dannye%20Chase, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyCatsAndRabbits/pseuds/HolyCatsAndRabbits
Summary: December 31, 2019Radio show broadcast by the angel Anthony Crowley11:02 pm...So we get in to the hansom cab, just me, Aziraphale, and the twenty-two parrots. Did you know that a group of parrots is called apandemonium?That word literally meansall demonsand let me tell you, all the demons in Hell could hardly make that much noise...**This fic takes place in a fantastic reverse AU created by Sparky (AarinsRitsuka), where Aziraphale is a powerful demon tasked with selling secrets, and his best friend is the Archangel Raphael the healer, who is living on Earth under the name Anthony J Crowley, and reaching out to those hurting souls who need him via a radio show.Art by Sparky, fic by Dannye. Created for theTo the World Zine
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Alba [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631878
Comments: 18
Kudos: 55
Collections: To The World





	New Year's Radio Show

**Author's Note:**

> Crowley calls Aziraphale “Alba,” which comes from the Latin for barn owl: _Tyto alba,_ (literally owl white). It’s the AU version of “Angel.”
> 
> Thank you so much to the mods of the _To the World Zine_ for all their hard work!
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone! <3

South Downs, England

December 31, 2019

Radio show broadcast by the angel Anthony Crowley

11:02 pm

...So we get in to the hansom cab. No cars back then, of course, not invented yet. So it’s just me, Aziraphale, and the twenty-two parrots. Aziraphale had to use a little demonic misdirection on the cab driver. I never did find out what the poor guy thought we were carrying instead of parrots. 

Did you know that a group of parrots is called a _pandemonium?_ That word literally means _all demons_ and let me tell you, all the demons in Hell could hardly make that much noise! And so off we go down the road, and a hansom cab isn’t that big, you know, so we were just covered in feathers. I swear I was pulling blue feathers out of my hair for a week afterwards.

So we pull up outside of this mansion, right, like the biggest house you’ve ever seen that’s not a castle. And I’ve got my angelic mojo going, you know, my _parrot parlance,_ if you will, but I hardly need it, the parrots are super into it, very excited for a night away from the zoo causing mayhem. So the door to the house opens and there we are, Aziraphale, me, and our pandemonium of screaming mischief. And the butler, bless his heart— I did actually bless his heart, by the way— he’s standing there in a beautiful black suit and shiny shoes. We can hear the party going on behind him, all the guests and the noise, and the poor man just gives us a little bow and welcomes us right into the house. He didn’t need any demonic convincing!

Well, you can only imagine the effect of twenty-two parrots suddenly released in a room full of snobby, liquored up guests. Screaming like you never heard from human and bird alike. One lady— we liked her— she just went with it, trotting about with a parrot on her shoulder. She was used to it, I guess, had a hat on her head that had just as many feathers. But the host of the party was just red-faced and screeching.

And there was the butler, brave soul, with the kitchen staff and the maids, just standing there, watching. When the master of the house ordered them to help, he was reminded that they hadn’t been paid in four weeks, and that the staff thought that perhaps their services might be more valued elsewhere in the new year. Gave him a lot to think about, I can tell you, about who really runs a household. And we did hear he was quicker about wages in the future. 

So we got the parrots back home again before the zoo missed them, and that is how Aziraphale and I celebrated New Year’s Eve 1896...

* * *

11:21 pm

...Well, it’s getting closer to the end of the year, folks, and so I wanted to say what I usually do, a little musing on the meaning of the new year. 2019! Wow, what a year. If you’re regular listeners of the show, you’ll know that this year I’ve gone from telling stories about “my friend” to finally speaking his name on the radio for the first time. And that’s because Aziraphale and I retired from Hell and Heaven a few months ago. And next year, of course, we’re getting married. Hard to believe that, honestly. I spent such a long time thinking we’d never be able to be together.

Now, you know this show discusses a lot of strange things, and some or most of you might think the whole _angel-demon-kidnapping-parrots-in-1896_ thing is made up. But whether you believe this to be a comedy broadcast or not, the messages given in this show have always been real, and I want to give you one now: you are all stronger than you know. Even at the end of what was a rough year in a lot of ways, even knowing that next year might be worse— Aziraphale and I have seen a lot of bad years, and you humans continue to impress us with the inner strength that you have. You’re an inspiration to us, you really are.

And that reminds me of this story I can tell about Aziraphale. He claims to be a big, bad demon, of course, but in reality, he’s rather soft—

Hang on, I’ve just been interrupted. Something has appeared on my desk. A little wooden box. I’ll open it here. It’s— it’s feathers— blue feathers— Aziraphale! These are— are these from that night with the parrots? You kept them? Oh, this— you bastard, you’re flustering me on the air again. We’ve talked about this—

_*cut to music*_

_(Queen, obviously)_

* * *

11:34 pm

Now sit down, Alba. If you’re going to interrupt live, you’re going to have to answer for it live.

_Aziraphale: It’s hardly my fault that you get flustered over a simple New Year’s present, dear._

Uh-huh. Are you proud of yourself?

_Are you, for telling embarrassing stories about me?_

I didn’t! Not— not tonight, anyway.

_No, because I interrupted you. And what about last week when you shared the swiss cheese incident?_

Well— 

_Also, I am a demon, dear, in case you’ve forgotten._

Uh-huh. A demon who saves parrot feathers for 123 years. 

_*Scoffing noise* I saved them for to use in a prank, not out of sentimentality._

Really?

_Really._

So you have absolutely no sentimental feeling whatsoever about the parrot party.

_It was a very entertaining evening._

Nothing to do with you and me committing a caper in the dark of night, just the two of us— 

_And twenty-two parrots._

Attending a party like any other couple— 

_With their twenty-two parrots._

You’re blushing.

_Anthony Crowley! I do not blush!_

*Laughter* Oh, yes you do.

_Well, I’m not blushing now! Don’t say that on the radio, they can’t see me!_

Ah, okay, you’re right about that. Well, here, in the interest of honesty, how about I do my best to bring about a blush? I’ll just put some music on.

_Crowley—_

_*cut to music*_

_(Mozart this time)_

_(It has been mentioned before on the show that Aziraphale likes Mozart)_

* * *

11:52

Oh! It’s almost midnight! Apologies, folks. We’re back live now. Uh— what was I saying?

 _I know what you were saying to_ me _just now_

Alba— 

_And it’s not something that can be broadcast live, dear._

Right. But the radio show— Ohhhh. That’s nice.

_The show?_

Oh! Yes. So New Year’s Eve. Countdown coming up in a few minutes. Um, reflecting on the new year, yes. We were.

_Mm-hmm. You know, you’re not putting on a very professional show at the moment._

Aziraphale, you’re still doing this on purpose! Flustering me live— Ah— oh, do that again. Oh, right there— 

_You’ve seven minutes to go, Anthony. I can manage in that time._

Oh— 

_Turn the music back on._

_*cut to music*_

_(The same Mozart that was just played)_

* * *

Jan 1, 2020

12:32 am

Oh— Alba. We missed it.

_Oh, dear._

You said— you said seven minutes— 

_I said that I_ could _manage to take care of you in seven minutes, dear, not that I_ would.

You know what, though?

_What?_

You are blushing now. 

_Anthony!_

Yep. How’s that for the first radio broadcast of 2020? Aziraphale the demon blushing red as a— 

_There is a sort of squeaking noise and the broadcast ends_

__

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are so appreciated! And please feel free to check out our other works: [AarinsRitsuka (Sparky)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AarinsRitsuka) & [HolyCatsAndRabbits (Dannye Chase)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyCatsAndRabbits).
> 
> Find us on tumblr [Sparky (Crowleyisms)](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/crowleyisms) & [Dannye Chase (HolyCatsAndRabbits)](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/holycatsandrabbits)  
> Twitter [Sparky (Horrorimus)](https://twitter.com/horrorimus) & [DannyeChase](https://twitter.com/DannyeChase)  
> Instagram [Sparky (Horrorimus)](https://www.instagram.com/horrorimus/) & [dannye_chase](https://www.instagram.com/dannye_chase/)  
> and Facebook [Dannye Chase](https://facebook.com/DannyeChase)  
> 


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